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I’m super bored so I sent this to Starbucks UK.

Dear Starbucks,


Now that we’re half way through September, people are begrudgingly becoming aware of the fact that Christmas is lurking around the corner. The cold weather, financial strain and prospect of spending time with one’s family can drain people and make them feel deflated. One redeeming factor of the holiday season, to use a horrible Americanism, is the arrival of your range of Christmas drinks. With that in mind, I thought I’d email you my idea for the most Christmassy Christmas drink in the history of Christmas, guaranteed to get the customers pouring into your coffee shops this November/December.


I was thinking, what do people love about Christmas? If this was a category on Family Fortunes, one of the top answers is sure to be Christmas dinner. With that in mind, I think a Christmas dinner themed drink would be a huge success.


Basically, it would be a standard coffee drink, but with added gravy granules. Of course, gravy alone does not make a Christmas dinner, so it doesn’t stop there! A cranberry syrup should be added, either in the drink itself, or on top, if the customer wants whipped cream. However, I’m not done. The pièce de résistance is the most vital part of a Christmas meal- bits of turkey and stuffing. Imagine the delight on the customers face when a little chunk of turkey or stuffing pops into their mouth while they enjoy their coffee. Mmm!


I’ll leave the branding and naming of this drink down to you guys. Consider this an early Christmas gift from me to you, although if you fancy paying me lots of money for my idea, that would also be cool.


I look forward to your reply.
Many thanks,
Alex Cruden.