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Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

I went to the cinema yesterday to see All-Star-Cold-War-Spy-Thriller flick, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. It’s a bit complicated. Like, I might need to see it a few more times, accompanied by some kind of Sparknotes, a basic knowledge of the cold war and somebody who can explain what’s happening, type complicated. I was going to pretend to Grace that I understood every second and it was brilliant, but luckily the first thing she said after it finished was ‘I have no idea what just happened.’

With the plot being too complex for me to write about, I shall write a review based on things that people can relate to!

Things I liked about TTSS (That’s short for Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy):

1. There were no actual tinkers involved. I don’t know what a tinker is. Some people told me it’s someone who fixes metal household utensils, whereas others told me it was a word for an Irish gypsy. This confusion would have only added to the complex nature of the film if an actual tinker was involved. Also not involved: tailors, soldiers, or pirates. There are spies though (SPOILERS).

2. The film started late. We were late getting to the cinema, despite Grace living literally one minute away. If we’d missed the very beginning, we may have had even less idea of what was happening.

3. We bought some crunchy M+Ms. They were really good. I haven’t had those in a long time.

4. The acting. Fantastic performances all round. I like Gary Oldman’s face- he’s just so calming. It’s too calming, in fact. Thinking about his face is sending me into a doze. Might have to watch Leon to make him less calming.

Things I didn’t like about TTSS (short for Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy):

1. The couple in front kept talking. I kicked the guy’s chair a few times so that they shut up. I felt like such a vigilante, taking the law into my own hands.

2. There was a kid called Bill in it. I’m not entirely sure what the point of him was, but he constantly had a look on his face as if he’d pooped himself and wanted to get away quickly before anyone noticed. This annoyed me.

3. My inability to remember names. The only names I could remember throughout were George Smiley, because he made me smile, and Ricky T(omH)arr(dy). Benedict Cucumberpatch’s character is called Peter Guillam, but every time I tried to remember this I got it wrong. In my head, I kept referring to him as Guimmal, Guillall, Quibble, etc. Also, I spent fucking ages trying to remember John Hurt’s character’s name. Turns out it was just ‘Control’!

In conclusion, weighing up all these important factors, I have decided to award Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy a ? out of 10. This is because I still can’t work out if I liked it or not. Don’t let my inability to understand the plot put you off; you may well be cleverer than I am. I mean, I didn’t get X-Men 2 on the first watch! I think I would have enjoyed it lots if I understood it all.